Are you struggling to connect to your grandchildren? Maybe you’re feeling like an outsider in your own family. As the world changes, so do family dynamics, usually due to generational barriers.
Understanding Generational Barriers in Families
Generational gaps are caused by age and the situation of the world at the time one generation has grown up. It is a chasm that separates the behaviours and beliefs belonging to family members of different generations.
The first step to bridging the generational gap is understanding the existing barriers. These barriers can stem from differences in communication styles, opposing values, generational stereotypes, cultural changes, technological advancements, and generational trauma.
Communication styles are often a significant barrier between generations, with “Baby Boomers” growing up believing children should be seen, not heard. At the same time, Millennials onwards are embracing gentle parenting and creating safe family dynamics where children’s voices and feelings are valued.
Younger generations place a higher value on individualism, equality, and personal freedom, while older generations might prioritise authority, tradition, and conformity. These opposing values can lead to conflict within families, with grandparents disagreeing on how grandchildren should be raised. This alone can cause a disconnect between grandparent and grandchild.
Effective communication involves taking the time to understand a new way of communicating and adapting to make sure your grandchild feels heard and respected. Keeping an open mind and engaging with your grandchild when they express their feelings and struggles will open up opportunities for a much deeper connection.
Sharing stories and family history can help grandchildren understand their roots and feel more connected to their family. This not only provides a sense of identity but also helps to create understanding and respect for each other’s experiences.
Stereotypes about different generations can also create barriers to understanding and communication. These stereotypes can lead to preconceived notions and judgments about each other, which can strain relationships and lead to misunderstandings.
With these stereotypes comes a lack of common interests. Younger generations are known to be tech-savvy and place value on digital communication and social media. It’s common for generations to have differing hobbies, leading to a lack of shared experiences. However, when we close ourselves off to societal advancements out of stubbornness, we also close ourselves off to bridging the gap between our family members who are moving with the times.
These differences in interests don’t have to become a barrier. They can be embraced and used as an opportunity for growth and learning. Shared interests can evolve over time, and the more interaction you have with your grandchild, the more opportunity there is to find common interests.
How Trauma Shapes Generational Interactions
Traumatic events that occurred during a particular generation can have long-lasting effects, influencing their interactions with other generations. These traumas can range from personal experiences to larger societal events, such as wars, economic depressions, or pandemics.
For example, grandparents who lived through significant societal shifts, such as women’s rights movements or economic depression, might have different expectations and fears than their family. This might present as insecurities around instability and a desire for control due to having lived through hardship and scarcity.
It’s important to know that recognising and acknowledging this trauma is the first step to healing. However, remember that other generations have experienced their own societal events and struggles; try not to dismiss their experiences just because they’re different from yours.
By acknowledging these traumas and their effects on our interactions with other generations, we can work towards understanding and empathy. By discussing these experiences, grandparents and grandchildren can gain a better understanding of each other’s perspectives and experiences.
Spending Time Together
Spending time with your family is the most important building block to building stronger relationships. Even if it’s just a few hours, the shared time can make a big difference in creating a connection between grandparent and grandchild.
This could be as simple as a shared meal or an evening together at home. Regardless of the activity, the key to quality time is simply being present and engaged with each other. By spending time together, you create shared experiences and memories to bond over and reminisce on later.
Breaking down generational barriers takes time, patience and understanding. By actively engaging and communicating, you can build strong connections with your family, no matter the age difference.
